In preparation for a dreaded trial of dating apps myself, I decided to ask my friends and social media followers for their worst dating app stories, hoping to both prepare myself for the worst and give you something to cringe at.
So, over the past week, I have collected the most atrocious dating app stories from my peers and have narrowed them down to my favorite (while being someone else’s least favorite) dating app tales.
We Both “Forgot” Our Wallets
“I think the title is fairly self-explanatory,” this girl tells me, “me being me, I ‘forget’ (don’t judge me, we all do it) my wallet. Casually, as I usually do, I acted shocked and slightly aggravated with myself when I pick up my handbag and can’t seem to find my purse (which, in reality, was hiding in the bottom of my handbag). The guy I’m out with doesn’t seem to mind that much but he goes into the pocket of his jeans and I can almost feel his heart fall into the pit of his bowel – it seemed he had forgotten his wallet too.”
I had hoped she had kept her, admittedly cheap and tacky act going, but no, she continues, “We sit in silence for a few seconds. He had kept up a strong exterior for the date but looks increasingly awkward and confused over what the next appropriate move is. I wonder if I should keep my act of bull***t going, but the cringeworthiness of the situation begins to infiltrate into my gut – that’s when I impulsively pull my purse out of my bag and ask for the bill, refusing to make eye contact with him in a wave of shame.”
“What bothered me the most was his lack of reaction, so, gripping onto my last strand of pride I had left of that day, I arrive home and mention it in a very light-hearted jokey way over text, hoping to save whatever I can of this embarrassing situation – that’s when he tells me he was ‘well aware’ I had my purse on me, since he had spotted me shopping earlier but decided not to stop by and say hi pre-date. We never communicated again, nor have I ever pretended to forget my purse, so when you go out, Simone, do NOT ‘forget’ your purse.”
He Told Me “Cheating Was Natural” in Any Marriage
So, I’ve known the girl who told me this story for a while, and it’s important to note that as a family-oriented woman of faith (which her date knew beforehand), it’s quite amusing to me that any man would ever use this in an attempt to “woo” a woman, especially after taking her to a CHURCH.
She tells me this was probably her “worst” date, but instead of Tinder, Hinge sexy Japanese dating, or any of our more modern apps, she met him on Facebook. He told her all the things that would get her engaged, that he has a “big family,” that his religion is “close to his heart,” and all of the things nice Christian girls generally like to hear – after a few nice conversations, she agreed to meet him for dinner.
They visited a church together, then as evening falls, visited some fancy wine and cheese places together. It’s all going fine until, and here’s what she calls a “key piece of advice,” she sat and simply allowed him the space to talk.
It’s not the first time I’ve heard this either, and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense – people will always fill verbal gaps themselves. So the longer you allow someone the space to simply talk, the more likely they are to expose the little details – and that’s exactly what her date did.